I couldn’t suppress my laughter when Kevin and I went to Cracker Barrel today for breakfast… the guy who seated us was so much a caricature of the South that had we been anywhere else I wouldn’t have taken him seriously. So, to celebrate the differences between the Deep South and the Northern Midwest, I offer for your amusement…
Top Ten Differences Between Georgia and Ohio:
10. Trucks. The ratio of good ol’ pickup trucks to SUV’s is MUCH higher in Georgia than up in Ohio. Oh, and the folks down here actually USE these vehicles for hauling things! It is a Sport UTILITY Vehicle, after all…
9. Signs. In Ohio, highway signs read “Caution: Bridge Freezes Before Roadway.” In Georgia, the signs read “Caution: Bridge May Freeze in Winter.” MAY freeze… hmm…
8. Kudzu. ‘Nuff said.
7. Mosquitoes and other biting insects. In Ohio, I wasn’t bitten once in two years. At the moment I’m desperately trying NOT to scratch the dozen or so bites I’ve accumulated over the past few days. I read somewhere that to keep mosquitoes away you should run a fan, since they don’t like the breeze… I guess the 25 MPH average winds of Northwestern Ohio worked pretty well…
6. Barbecue! I finally have some REAL barbeque places to choose from! There’s nothing like some honest to goodness pulled-pork barbecue that’s been smoking all day, falling off the bone tender, with your choice of sauces…
5. Grits. Not only can I get decent grits at Cracker Barrel, without having to ask for them extra, but I found at my local Kroger’s not one but FOUR different brands of grits, regular, quick, instant, and in different flavors! It was a whole section of grits! Cool!
4. Weather. Forecast for the next, oh, six weeks or so: Highs in the mid-90’s, late afternoon thunderstorms possible. And I’m looking forward to winter for the first time in two years!
3. Landscape. I have hills and trees! And roads that actually curve around, and go up and down… My bike thanks me.
2. Tea. In Ohio, ordering an Iced Tea meant you got tea, plain, no sugar. You had to add your own sweetener. In The South, Iced Tea is so sweet you could cut it with a knife… that is, unless you specifically ask for unsweetened, and even then you’re liable to get some strange looks.
1. Accent. NOT ONCE have I been asked, “Where are you from?” because of the way I speak.